


Blame It on Me

by orphan_account



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Real World, Deceit's Name Is Ethan, Depressed!Virgil, Everyone Is Gay, I can't write that, I'm Sorry, M/M, No Smut, PTSD!Remy, Poor Virgil, Self Harm, Short Chapters, Tags Are Hard, Tags may be added, cuz I change chapters every time POV changes, deceit is pining over Patton and it's obvious, my best friend Ezra helped me write this, oh noes, ooc in general, patton is a bad liar, patton is oblivious to feelings, please be safe childen, respect them or I steal your nico nico knee caps, slightly ooc Deceit, this is discontinued, this is fanfiction after all, this is on my school account, trans! remy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 8,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22288270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Roman watched as Virgil and Deceit argued. Patton hid behind Logan, and Remus slowly snuck upon them all with an air horn.“NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD!!” he screamed loudly and blew the air horn. Roman covered his ears right before his mischievous twin brother did this, and all of the others screamed in pain, even Logan, but his scream had a monotone sound while looking around, more like “ahhhhhh” instead of a blood-curdling scream as Patton had, and genuine screams as Deceit plus Virgil had."I'm trash at writing, so this may be bad, please forgive me, Thomas.---DISCONTINUED---
Relationships: (past) Remy/Deceit, (past) Virgil/Deceit, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dr. Emile Picani/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Patton/Deceit
Comments: 13
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, here is some background knowledge before this starts. It will occasionally switch POV, from Virgil, Roman, Logan, Patton, Deceit, and Remus, but it is in third person, not first person. This is an AU I made up, with the help of Pinterest, Wattpad and Ezra. Thomas exists, but he won’t come in until much later. In this AU, they all are real, not fake, so they all have actual human personality traits other than just the one that they represent, but they still act a lot like their canon selves, just more human than emotion. If anyone would like to copy anything, use it in drawings, use this as inspiration, or even just create anything off of this, please credit me, at LeaderOfDICE and Ezra at GodHatesEzra42069. These are our artist's and writer's names.  
> WARNINGS  
> Very gay  
> Fluffy moments  
> Suicidal/depressed/self-harming characters  
> Slight abuse  
> Angst  
> Like, this is sickening, tooth-rotting, fluff, man  
> With all that out of the way, enjoy the story!!

_ ~Roman POV~ _

Roman watched as Virgil and Deceit argued. Patton hid behind Logan, and Remus slowly snuck upon them all with an air horn.

“NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD!!” he screamed loudly and blew the air horn. Roman covered his ears right before his mischievous twin brother did this, and all of the others screamed in pain, even Logan, but his scream had a monotone sound while looking around, more like “ahhhhhh” instead of a blood-curdling scream as Patton had, and genuine screams as Deceit plus Virgil had. 

Roman sighed, got up, then walked over to his brother, pulling him away from everyone else. 

“Deeeeeeeee,” Remus yelled, reaching out to Deceit. “Helppp meeeee!!”

Deceit sighed and grabbed onto Remus’s other arm. He pulled on Remus’s arm until both of them fell onto the ground, Remus falling on top of Deceit. Deceit turned a dark red, while Remus turned slightly pink and laughed. 

“Aww, hey, Dee, kissing burns six-point four calories a minute. Wanna workout?” Remus flirted. Deceit blushed, even more, looking like he was internally screaming. Remus’s R on his floating crown changed to a rainbow heart as he stuck his tongue out suggestively at Deceit. 

Deceit laughed a bit, then retorted to the flirting trash-man with; “I don’t work out much, so that would be wayyyy to hard. Get offa me.” Remus sighed, got up, then helped Deceit up. 

Virgil looked away, obviously holding back a laugh. Roman got up and walked over to Virgil, wrapping his arms around the smaller one's waist. Virgil let out a small yelp and turned around to face Roman, who was holding back a laugh.

“Let me gooooo!” Virgil whined, blush creeping onto his face.

“Oh come on, I’m not gonna let you go, you’re too perfect!” 

Virgil blushed more and said in a cocky tone, “Oh please, I’m nowhere near perfect!”

“You know what, you’re right, but there’s only one thing I want to change about you. Your last name~” Roman flirted.

“ _ WE HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME, WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNN!!!?”  _ Virgil yelled in a confused tone, his blush increasing.

Remus laughed, smiled, and yelled, “Good job, brother! I’m very proud!” 

Roman returned the smile and laugh, letting go of Virgil, who ran off to God knows where. 


	2. Virgil POV

Virgil ran to his room, fell onto his bed, and started to think.

 _Why does he flirt with me so much? I’m nowhere near his type, even if he is into guys, which I know he is. He brags about it SO much. I’m not worth his time._ He reached for the nightstand next to his bed and opened the first drawer. There was his knife. It was supposed to be for self-defense, but it was covered in Virgil’s own blood.

He sighed, closed the drawer, and took off his hoodie, revealing scars going up and down his arms from cutting his arms almost every night. He knew it wasn’t safe to do self-harm since it could accidentally kill him by making him bleed out, but would anyone really care if he died? That’s why he did that. No one really cared about him, so he did that. Well, no one ever said that they don’t care about him but no one ever said they did either, well, other than Patton of course, but Virgil didn’t count him since Patton said that he cared about everyone every day. 

He started crying and stood up. He walked over to his closet, grabbed his nightclothes, and quickly put them on. The shirt was a white T-shirt that he had gotten from his time of being friends with Deceit and Remus and the pants were dark raven black yoga pants.

He looked himself over in the mirror. 

“Too skinny. Too pale. Messy hair. God, I’m such a mistake,” Virgil ranted out loud. He continued to notice every flaw about himself, pointing it out to himself out loud. He sighed, fell onto his bed, and curled into a ball, covering himself with his blanket.

It was morning and Roman burst through the door.

“Viiirgiiiillll!~” He sang out, and Virgil covered his head with his blanket, groaning at how loud the other one was.

Roman walked over to Virgil’s bed and removed the blanket from it. Virgil quickly covered his eyes with his arm, not realizing he was revealing the scars and fresh scabs all over his arms until it was too late.

Roman gasped and pulled Virgil up, dragging him to the front room, which was empty other than the two of them. 

“Why are those there?” Roman asked with concern.

“Why do you care!?” Virgil retorted to the taller one.

“Because cutting could kill you!” 

“And!?”

“AND THAT’S NOT OKAY! YOU COULD DIE VIRGIL. WHAT DO YOU NOT GET ABOUT THAT!?” Roman yelled at Virgil.

“I GET EVERY PART ABOUT THAT. IT’S OBVIOUS NONE OF YOU CARE ABOUT ME. YOU MAKE THAT SO CLEAR TO ME. I AM NOT NECESSARY. A WASTE OF SPACE. YOU ALL HATE ME, AND I KNOW THAT. YOU ALL  _ MAKE  _ ME WANT TO DIE, ROMAN, OKAY!? I-I-I-” Virgil was interrupted by Logan and Patton walking out of Logan’s room and Logan asking what was going on. As Roman explained in a very exaggerated way, Virgil remembered how Patton and Logan fell asleep watching movies in Logan’s room. 

Patton looked at Virgil with what looked like sorrow, fear, and horror all put into one emotion. 

“VIRGIL, SEE THIS!? PATTON IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE PETRIFIED FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG!” Roman yelled.

Something clicked in Virgil, and his eyes suddenly went dark. “DON’T YOU  _ DARE _ BRING PATTON INTO THIS. HE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG, GET THAT INTO YOUR THICK SKULL.”

Patton got in between them and stuttered in a soothing and calm voice, “N-now, now, why don’t we all calm down, sit down, g-get some tea, a-a-and talk about this? That would b-be the best way to d-do all of th-this!” 

Virgil glared and shoved Patton out of the way. “THIS  _ DOESN’T  _ INVOLVE YOU, PATTON.” 

Everyone gasped and tears started to form at Patton’s eyes. He ran off, and Logan gave a disappointed look to Virgil before running after him. Roman looked at Virgil for a second with disgust before walking away without saying a word. Virgil ran upstairs, to his room, slammed the door, fell onto his bed, and cried out in anguish. He calmed down soon and started crying.

“Why did I say that to Patton!? If they didn’t hate me before, then they definitely do now!” he cried. He grabbed his knife and started cutting, but this time instead of just lines across his pale skin, he cut chunks out of his arm. More and more blood spilled onto his white sheets, turning them a rust color. His arms were hurting but Virgil didn’t care. He cut one last chunk off of his arm, but this chunk was larger than the others. The chunks from before were less than an inch long, but this one was four inches long and an inch deep at the least. Virgil cried out in pain and started feeling dizzy. Right before he passed out, he heard his door open, heard someone gasp in concern, and run to him. He expected it to be Roman or Patton, but when he looked up, he saw,

“D-Deceit…?” Everything went black.


	3. Deceit POV

Deceit paced back and forth, waiting for Virgil to wake up. 

“What the  _ hell  _ is taking him so long!?” he yelled. Deceit looked at Virgil, who was lying in Deceit’s bed. Deceit had wrapped up Virgil’s arms in bandages and put him into some more comfortable clothes that weren’t covered in blood. Deceit sighed and sat next to Virgil.

“Please be okay… God, I can’t believe they all led to you doing this to yourself…” Deceit sighed again and hugged Virgil tightly, but not too tightly. Virgil opened his eyes slightly and they widened after seeing the other hugging him tightly. Virgil slowly wrapped his arms around Deceit and rested his head on the other’s shoulder, mumbling under his breath gibberish. 

“E-Ethan…? What are you doing…? Why did you help me…?” Virgil asked.

“You… You remembered my name? I thought it was only Remus who knew my real name!” Deceit exclaimed. 

Virgil laughed and sighed, “I couldn’t forget, I was so surprised it was Ethan, such a normal name, and I thought it would be like, Hythen, or something.” 

Deceit laughed and backed away, “Well, Hythen is a pretty cool name, I could definitely pull that name off!” They talked, joked, caught up on each other’s lives, and laughed for about an hour before there was a small comfortable silence between them for a few minutes. Virgil hugged Deceit again, laid his head down on Deceit’s shoulder, and fell asleep quickly. 

Deceit smiled and laid Virgil down onto the bed, covered him up, and ruffled his already messy black and purple hair. “Goodnight Virge, love you…” Deceit said lovingly, not lying for once in his life before leaving to go to bed himself.


	4. Patton POV

“Kiddo? Can I come in?” Patton knocked on Virgil’s closed door. 

No response. 

He sighed and twisted the doorknob open. “I’m coming in… I wanted to tell you that I want to help you, and everyone forgives-” Virgil wasn’t there. 

“V-Virgil!? Kiddo, where are you!? This isn’t funny!” Patton cried out as he looked around the room for his friend. He looked at the blood-stained sheets and the knife that was on it. Patton cried out and tears started flowing from his eyes, causing them to sting and hurt. Logan and Roman ran up. They gasped at the scene. Patton fell down onto his knees and cried harder. Logan went over to him and hugged him tightly.

“Hey, hey, it’ll be okay, Virgil will be okay, we’ll find him, don’t worry…” Logan whispered to the small, fragile, person he was holding. 

Patton nodded and hugged Logan back.

“Oh, God… This all my fault! I shouldn’t have yelled at him! I should’ve been nicer! Oh my God,” Roman exclaimed quietly, holding back tears himself and covered his face.

Logan looked at Roman, and Patton realized something about Logan he never did before. Logan  _ actually _ had emotions, despite him trying to hide them. He was worried about Virgil, and it showed. Patton couldn’t help but smile sadly. Logan stood up, then walked out of the room, whispering something to Roman before he walked out. 


	5. Chapter 5

Virgil had never been treated with such kindness before in his life. Ethan was doing everything he could to make Virgil feel at home. 

He was eating breakfast when Deceit, er, Ethan came in and wrapped his arms around Virgil’s shoulders and asked what he was eating, causing him to think about Roman and almost burst into tears.

“I-I-I miss them…” Virgil muttered. 

“What!? After all… all they did to you?” Deceit asked.

“I can’t help it! They were just worried about me, and I reacted like I did! I should’ve just talked to them… You know what, I’m going to!” Virgil declared. He got up and went to the door before feeling himself being forcefully pushed up against the wall. 

“N-no! You can’t go! It’s not safe out there! I can protect you, Virgil! Just let me!” Deceit pleaded, insanity growing in his eyes. Virgil gasped in surprise, pushed Deceit away, opened the door, and ran out. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket as he ran and he dialed Roman’s number, pressed call, and put the phone to his ear.

“Come on, Princey, pick up, pick up!” He mumbled.

The phone clicked, “ _ Hello?” _

“Princey! I need your help, please, come pick me up!” Virgil yelled. He slowed down, looked around, and saw he was in the park. 

“ _ Alright, where are you? I’m in my car right now! _ ” Roman exclaimed.

“I’m at the park, just please hurry, Deceit might catch me if you delay-”

A car screeched up and rolled down the window. “Hop in, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance!” 

Virgil laughed, ran to the other side of the car, basically ripped open the door, jumped in, and slammed the door shut. 

“Buckle up, Patton would kill me if we weren’t wearing our seat belts,” Roman advised and Virgil obeyed, buckling his seat belt and tightening it. During a long drive home, Virgil gave an explanation as to where he was for the past few days. Roman nodded every now and then but seemed as though he was thinking hard about something. 

Finally, they got home, and Virgil got out of the car, running inside. 

“Patton! Logan! I’m back!” He sang out.   
Patton ran down and hugged Virgil tightly. Hours later, Virgil was getting ready for bed, when Roman walked into his room, turning around and closing the door. He walked over to Virgil and looked at him. He looked like he felt very guilty.

“Ro? What’s wrong?” Virgil asked.

Roman sighed and took Virgil’s hoodie off of him, pulling his arm out. “D-did you do that because of me…?” Roman asked. 

“I-I-”


	6. Roman POV

“I-I-I…” Virgil sighed, “I did it because I felt like a horrible person and I didn’t deserve anything… You didn’t do anything, it was me who did.” Roman felt a pain in his heart as Virgil said this.

“But you’re amazing, I don’t understand-” Roman started but was interrupted by Virgil. 

“I don’t think I am, okay Roman? I’m sorry, I-I can’t help it, I really wish I could, I do, but I’m always reminded how perfect all of you are, how all of you just… just accepted me into the group even though I used to be… one of them!” Virgil was crying now. He hugged Roman tightly. 

Roman sighed, hugged him back, and cooed “Hey, hey, calm down, it’s okay, don’t worry… You deserve everything we give to you, and you’re not one of the others anymore, you’re one of us,”

“I love you-  _ WE, I MEAN WE LOVE YOU!”  _ Roman continued and started trying to cover up that he said “I” instead of “We”. 

Virgil laughed slightly, mumbled what sounded like an “I love you too,” but Roman wasn’t completely sure, and looked at Roman. Roman realized that Virgil had deep, purple eyes that sparkled like the stars and northern lights together. 

“Woah…” Roman muttered in awe. Virgil tilted his head to the side in confusion. 

“Uh, Princy, you okay?” Virgil asked. Roman nodded and held Virgil even closer to himself, cupping the side of his face.

“Yes, I haven’t been better. Your eyes are beautiful.” 

Virgil started blushing and looked away. Roman sighed and hugged Virgil again, then backed away.

“You’re really something else, aren’t you, Virgil?” Roman asked.

“I-I-I-I…” Virgil was trying to say something, but Roman couldn’t tell what. Virgil quickly covered his face and blushed brightly. 

“Stop it! Stop it, stop it, stop it!” Virgil yelled, his voice echoing slightly. Roman stepped back quickly.

“V-Virg, what’s wrong?”  
“Stop leading me on like you are! Stop it, stop it, stop it! I can’t deal with it! You just keep making me feel worse and worse, and it feels like you all hate me, and-and I just want to feel loved! I wanna feel like I’m worth it! I-I-I’m sorry!” Virgil hickuped and fell into Roman’s arms again, crying hard, and he looked at Roman.

“What do you mean, Virgil? I would never do that do you, and we could never hate you. You are just… just perfect. You can’t even comprehend how much we all care about you. You shouldn’t feel sorry for feeling the way you do. Maybe you should see a therapist about this though because they could maybe help you feel better about yourself, wouldn’t that be good? I really think that would make everything so much better-”  
Virgil wrapped his arms around Roman’s neck and kissed him. It only lasted for a second or two, but that was enough for Roman to turn bright red, and for Virgil’s eyes to open widely after realizing what he did. 

“OH MY GOD, I’M SORRY, I DON’T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME, I-I UNDERSTAND IF YOU HATE ME NOW, I DIDN’T MEAN TO-” 

“No, it’s fine, I know you don’t like me that way,” Roman laughed. “You just got happy and all, I get it, man!”

Virgil sighed and thanked Roman, then went to lay down. After he did, he shooed Roman away, and Roman obliged. After he closed Virgil’s door, he covered his mouth, blushed, even more, ran to his room, and dialed one of his friends. 

“Yo, Remy speaking!” 

“REMY, VIRGIL KISSED ME!” Roman squeaked.

“O-M-God!!! Tell me every single thing that happened!!” 

After Roman explained everything to Remy, they both squealed loudly. 

“Hey girl, I’d love to talk a little longer, but I have a therapy sesh with Emile,” Remy quickly said. 

“Since when did you call him ‘Emile’? You used to always call him ‘Picani’!” Roman exclaimed.

He heard Remy start stuttering on the other end before he shouted, “Well, I-I-I don’t need to explain myself t-to you! You’re not my dad!” 

Roman laughed, then they both said their goodbyes. After Roman hung up, he couldn’t help but giggle at both, the fact that  _ Virgil kissed him _ , and the fact that Remy was so obviously in love with his therapist, Emile Picani, and how adorable it was. Roman sighed, then laid his head down onto his pillow and fell asleep. 


	7. Remy POV

Remy was in the office after finishing his call with Roman when he was called into his favorite therapist’s room. As he sat down in the purple, plush seat, he looked at Dr. Picani, who he recently had started calling Emile. Now, you may be wondering why Remy, of  _ all  _ people, needed a therapist. He had really bad anxiety, depression, and PTSD from a previous romantic relationship. A guy named  _ Ethan _ . That jerk. Hurting Remy. Making him regret living. Wishing he had never been born. Wrapping Remy around his little finger, always willing to do whatever  _ Ethan _ said. That jerk.

“H-hey! Remy! S-snap out of it!” Emile exclaimed to Remy, worried.

Remy shook his head, “Sorry, what’s up?”

“You seem to be upset, are you thinking of Ethan again?”

Remy was shocked, then remembered that Ethan was the main reason he NEEDED therapy. 

He sighed, and confessed, “Yeah, yeah I’m thinking about him again. It’s just… I was eighteen, you know? I should’ve known dating an older guy who’s ACTUALLY in his twenties was a bad idea, but I was being dumb and rebellious over my sucky parents and decided ‘Hey! He’s nice, twenty-two, so four years older than me, shouldn’t be a problem! Let’s ask him out! He said yes!? OMG as a fresh-out-of-high school adult, this is great! Suck it Mom and Dad!’ God, I was dumb.”

“You weren’t dumb, Remy, you were a teenager who was upset about his own problems, so you sook out someone with experience, and that person happened to be Ethan, then you grew an attraction, it’s as simple as that. It was his fault and in no way yours.”

Remy felt himself start to tear up. They talked for a while longer, and sadly, their time was up. Emile smiled sweetly and said goodbye. Remy felt blood rush to his face, and he couldn’t help but think about how cute the therapist was. GOD, why did he feel this way about his therapist!? These feelings could only leave him in shambles again, so it’s best to push them down. Deep, deep, deep down so they never saw the surface of humanity ever again. After he finished packing up, he suddenly spoke without thinking.

“Hey, Emile?” 

_ WHAT THE HELL.  _

“Yes, Remy?” 

_ REMY STOP SPEAKING. _

“So, I think I like someone, but I’m scared to ask them out. But, like, I really, really like them. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be hurt again. Please tell me what I should do, I’m really scared.”

_ STOPPPPPP!!! _

Emile thought for a second, then spoke. “Well, I think you should just ask them. Worst casinario, they say no. I don’t think anything will end up like they did with Ethan.”

_ God, we’re already this deep, might as well keep going.  _

“Okay. Alright, Emile Picani, I think I am in love with you and I want to ask you out.”

“Yes, just like that, but say it to them with their name!” Picani exclaimed. Remy just stared at Emile for a second, then it clicked for him. 

Emile started to flush, from his neck to his face, even to his ears. 

“I-I-I um…” Slowly, he nodded, then quickened his nodding, “Yes! I-I’ll go out with you, geez!”

Remy smiled brightly. “Great! I’ll see you at 8:00 next Sunday, what movie do you want to see? You know what, just tell me over text,” he wrote his number down on a piece of paper and handed it to Remy, “Here’s my number, uh, we’ll go see the movie, then go to eat! See you!” 

Remy stood up and left. He turned his head around to see Emile writing something down in his notebook. He was still blushing, but now he was smiling brightly. Remy giggled to himself and left. He was  _ so _ gonna tell Roman about this when he got home. 


	8. Virgil POV

“Please Roman! I’ll do anything!” Virgil heard Remy plead from the other room. His voice sounded very upset. Virgil’s fight or flight instinct kicked in and he ran to the room, to see what looked like Remy begging a very sorry Roman.

“I told you, I’m busy, I’m sorry,” Roman apologized.

“B-but Logan can’t take me, and Patton can’t drive!”

“Ask Virgil!” Roman pleaded, looking at Virgil. Remy’s head snapped over to the small, hoodie-wearing, adult. He crawled over to him and started begging him for what Virgil could only assume was what Remy was begging Roman for.

“Virgil, I need you to take me half-way across Florida so I can talk to my top surgeon! He called me and said I can get the surgery a few days after he talks to me! Please!” Remy begged.

Virgil sighed, “Oh my God, I’ll take you, but seriously, stop begging, it makes you look weak, and most guys won’t get on their hands and knees to beg for something, other than Princey and his weird brother.”

Virgil smirked as he heard Roman make, what Virgil called them, “Offended Princey noises” at that remark. Remy stood up and hugged Virgil tightly.   
“You’re the best! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Remy’s voice cracked on the last “Thank you” since Remy started taking testosterone a few years ago. Virgil couldn’t help but help his friend since Remy was female to male transgender, Virgil couldn’t stand seeing him so upset.

“When do you need to go?”  
Remy went quiet, and Virgil repeated his question, but slowly. Finally, Remy replied, “Tomorrow.”

“Well hurry up and go pack! Geez, you shoulda’ told me sooner!” Virgil exclaimed. Remy nodded and ran to his room.

“I should probably go pack too-” Virgil started, but was interrupted by Roman.

“You’re so nice to him, I swear, it’s not like you at all…”

“Well, Deceit screwed us both over, so of course I’m nice to him,”

Roman tilted his head to the side, “But, I also feel bad for him. He’s a good kid, and his childhood was just horrible, so I kinda feel this big brother feeling for him.”

Roman smiled slightly, then hugged Virgil.

“E-eh!?” Virgil exclaimed while his heart did a complete summer-sault in his chest. He felt the blood rush to his face, and Roman laughed a bit. 

“You’re a great person, Virge, just thought I’d tell you since it seems like you’re not told that enough.” 

Virgil’s eyes started to sting from tears, and he just stood there. He finally burst out in tears and thanked Roman, who grew worried almost immediately, Virgil confirmed that they were tears of happiness and not sadness, then went to go pack. He assumed they’d be there for at least five days, so he packed six shirts, some pajamas, three pairs of pants, and some other stuff. He looked at himself in the mirror and noticed something. He seemed… happier. He grew a smile and saw his teeth, which used to have purple braces that were now good, which made him smile even more. He flopped onto his bed and fell asleep after playing on his phone for a bit. 

_“Virgil! Whatchya got there?” Ethan asked. Paranoia quickly hid a Disney movie he had gotten from Roman._

_“I-it’s nothing!”_

_“You went over there again, didn’t you?” Ethan said with salt._

_“I-I-I-” Paranoia started stumbling over his words and he knew that Ethan knew where he had been. Ethan started getting onto him, but when Paranoia tried to argue back, he raised his voice, causing Paranoia to jump, then Ethan started approaching him, then-_

“Virgilllll!!! Get uppp!!!” Remy had woken Virgil, who accidentally shot up and punched him in the arm.

“Ow!”  
“Ah, s-sorry, you scared me,” Virgil awkwardly said, and got up, “Ready to go?” Remy nodded vigorously, he was already dressed and everything. 

“Alright, give me a few seconds, and then I’ll be ready and we can go.”   
“Got it!” Remy stood up, then skipped downstairs.

Virgil groaned in annoyance as Remy and his boyfriend, who had begged to come just so he could be there for his boyfriend and patient, flirted for what seemed like the tenth million time.

“IDIOT, MOVE, WE HAVE A TOP SURGEON TO SEE IN A FEW HOURS!” Virgil yelled at the road, causing both young males in the back to jump slightly. Virgil cursed a bit more at the drivers in front of him before he sighed angrily and turned up the radio, which was playing his main playlist, full of P!ATD, MCR, TOP, FOB, and more, or, to all you non-emos, Panic! At The Disco, My Chemical Romance, Twenty One Pilots, and Fall Out Boy.   
“Oh my GOD, Virgil, no one cares about your emo music- WAIT A MINUTE IS THAT TWENTY-ONE PILOTS!?” Remy yelled and pushed himself forward.

Virgil whipped his head around and yelled, “GET BACK INTO YOUR SEAT, YOUNG MAN, OR I WILL PULL THIS VEHICLE OVER AND PERSONALLY WALK YOU HOME IF I DON’T SHOVE YOU OFF OF THIS GODDAMN BRIDGE FIRST!” Remy quickly sat back down and Virgil turned back around and put his head on top of the steering wheel.   
“God, I sound like Logan!” He mumbled to himself. As Virgil drove, he slowly calmed down, at least, he was. Then a driver pulled _right_ in front of him. Virgil yelled at the driver, then he realized he recognized the license plate. 

“WHAT THE  _ HELL  _ IS ROMAN DOING DRIVING HIS CAR HALF-WAY ACROSS FLORIDA!? IS THAT LOGAN? PATTON? PATTON CAN’T DRIVE, WHY WOULD HE BE DRIVING, LOGAN KNOWS HOW TO DRIVE, HE WON’T BE DRIVING LIKE THAT, AND ROMAN HAS AN ENTIRE  _ GODDAMN _ MUSICAL, WHO THE  _ ACTUAL HELL  _ IS IN FRONT OF ME!?” 

“M-maybe it’s Remus?” Emile suggested, never seeing Virgil like this before, and Virgil thought about it. Picani had a point, Remus had the same driving skills, if not worse, as Roman, and he stole his twin brother’s car a lot, so it would make sense.

“HE GOT HIS LICENSE TAKEN AWAY!” now Virgil was even madder because his friend could literally go to jail if he got pulled over, and Remus shouldn’t be driving if he got his license taken away. Virgil honked and saw a hand go out of the window to flip him off.

“Yep, that’s Remus.” Remus had always had his nails black and rainbow, while Roman had his as red and rainbow. It was obviously Remus. 

Virgil decided to annoy him to see what would happen, and he could feel his brain yelling at him to stop, but Virgil decided not to. He started honking his horn to the tune of “Be a Man” from Mulan and saw Remus immediately pull over and get out.

“DUDE, ROMAN IS WEARING OFF ON YOU!” he yelled to him.

Virgil pulled up next to him and rolled down his window. “Your point? Let’s see you recreate an entire Disney song out of your horn!”

“OH MY GOD, CAN WE GO NOW!?” Remy was very annoyed by now. 

“Shush, the adults are speaking, small one!” Virgil turned around to face Remy and joked.

“I’m not a child! And you’re only three years older than me!” Remy’s voice cracked, and Virgil laughed at him before turning back to Remus.

“Dude, where are you even going?” Virgil asked Remus.

“Oh, Ethan said apparently I’m ‘Not mentally stable’ and ‘need to actually talk to a professional’ and the only place that will take me is in Orlando! Ugh…” Remy and Virgil both flinched at hearing Ethan’s name.

“Hey, we’re going there too, maybe we’ll see you there!” Virgil exclaimed.

“Yeah, I’m totally lost by the way, so I’ll follow you three.”  
“Cool, see you.”  
“See you.”

Virgil rolled the window up and started driving again. Remy started complaining about how boring that wait was for nearly twenty minutes.

Virgil finally got annoyed and said in a very calm, yet scary voice, “Okay, Remy, I need you to shut up for a few minutes, because I have a headache and it’s illegal to take drugs while driving, and illegal to do drugs in general, so I need peace and quiet.” 

Remy squeaked and went quiet. They finally got to the hotel an hour before Remy’s appointment. Remus pulled up to the hotel right next to Virgil’s car and got out of the car. 

“So, what’s gonna be going on here? What kinda stuff are you, the most anxious and paranoi- I mean easily scared person I know, doing in Orlando?” Remus asked. 

“Well, Remy has to talk to his top surgeon today, and then he’s getting surgery after a few days.” 

Remus looked surprised. He admitted that he didn’t even know Remy was transgender and thought he was just some troubled youth that had daddy issues or something. Remy laughed then thanked Remus. The three continued talking, then Picani told them it was time to go into the hotel. They all went in, with their stuff of course, and got their rooms. Virgil and Remus winded up sharing a room so they could, in Remus’s words, “Give the two lovers known as Remy and Emile some  _ alone _ time” and Virgil thought about it, and he would rather have his ear talked off by Remus than listen to Remy and Emile flirt and talk all night. 

After they each went to their own respective rooms, Remus immediately asked, “So, when should I expect that invitation to my brother and your’s wedding?”  
Virgil’s face went bright red and he started stuttering, “W-we aren’t g-g-getting married! Shut up, you w-weird trash man!” 

Remus started laughing, “I knew it! You are head over heels! God, why are you, of all people, in love with the idiot known as my brother?” 

Virgil knew Remus was joking, but he still was feeling offended for Roman. He kept quiet though. 

“Well, glad I’m not the only dark side that’s fallen for a light side,” Remus laughed.

“I’m not a dark side- WAIT WHAT!?” 


	9. Remus POV

_ OH SHIT.  _ **_OH SHIT_ ** _.  _ Remus started thinking to himself, repeating those two words many times.

“I-I, uh, FORGET IT!” Remus stuttered.

“Wait, no, who is it!? It’s definitely not Roman, and I don’t think you’d fall for someone like Patton, and,” Virgil gasped.

“NO.  _ NO _ . SHUT UP. I DON’T LIKE ANYONE. NO!” Remus started denying in every way possible. 

“You like Logan, don’t you, Remus!” Virgil obviously wasn’t asking.

“NO, SHUT UP! I’M- I DON’T- SHUT. UP.”

“You’re right, you don’t shut up!” Virgil joked.

“I will end you, right here, right now,” Remus threatened.

“ _ Sure _ , you will!” Virgil laughed. 


	10. quick thing (not a chapter)

Hey everyone, I'm working on the next chapter, but I am currently on writers block, I'm writing another story, and I'm working on a few things on my Tumblr. I'm more active there. so follow me @leaderofdice606060 and check out my stuff there, I guess, but I am trying to get a story out, but school and shit are really hard and I have a bunch of testing to do. I'm not trying to make excuses, so forgive me, please. Thank you so much.


	11. Virgil POV

As the night went on, the two ended up forgetting about the conversation and they winded up falling asleep. Before that though, Virgil brought Remy to the top surgeon, then afterward, they stopped at both, Starbucks and Mcdonalds, then finally went back. After a few days, Remy got his top surgery. Virgil was sitting on the bed while Remy was complaining.

“Dude, how high are you right now?” Virgil asked.

“I dunno… Hey, Roman told me you kissed him, is that true?” Remy replied then asked. Virgil’s face turned red and looked around the room. 

“U-uh, I, uh, didn’t do it intentionally, I, uh, i-it was an accident!” he quickly explained.

“How do you accidentally kiss someone?” Remy asked.

“I-I-I just… did! It was in the moment and didn’t even last three seconds! I don’t know, it just happened, okay…?” Virgil went quiet for a few seconds. 

“B-besides, I don’t… I don’t want to be hurt again,” Virgil admitted. Remy went quiet. 

“But, he was one of the people who helped you!” Remy said.

“Yeah, but Dee was just… horrible. I heard he’s been, I dunno, nicer, but I still can’t help but distrust him…” 

Remy started speaking again, “You know, Roman was super happy when he called me and told me what happened.”  
“Huh? Remy, what do you mean-” Virgil started, but he was interrupted.

“Hey, hon, I’d love to talk more, but I’m high and exhausted. Shoo.”

Virgil laughed a bit then said goodnight and left. This was gonna be a long week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for being gone, but I'm still busy, and I still have tons of tests. I'm failing two of my classes, so I'm trying to catch up on those, but I hope you enjoyed this new chapter


	12. quick thing (not a chapter)

So I'm working on the story currently, and my best friend Ezra, who helps me write the story, is very passive-aggressive about me updating it. Please deal with me, lmao


	13. Patton POV

Patton was pacing. He was confused.  _ Really  _ confused. Logan seemed like he was going to tell Patton something about Roman’s brother, but he gave up and left because he had to go on a business trip for his job. Roman was at a musical, and he forgot to invite Patton to it. Virgil was on a trip with Emile and Remy. Patton was home alone now, and he didn’t know what to do.

He thought out loud to himself, “Maybe I could invite Remus- No, Virgil said that he joined the road trip… Dangit…” Patton groaned loudly in annoyance. 

There was a knock on the door. Patton got up and saw Deceit standing there.

“What are  _ you  _ doing here? Virgil and Roman told me everything you’ve ever done to Virge, so don’t think I’m going to let you in-”

“I-I’m sorry Patton, Remus isn’t home because I sent him to a phycologist in Orlando, and I originally came to see if Virgil was willing to listen to me long enough so I could tell him I’m trying to change and that I’m sorry, but I got a text from Remus saying that Virgil was also in Orlando, but I was already here, so I just came to see if you had a movie I could watch and I don’t have to stay, you can just hand it over, I’ll leave, and then return the movie tomorrow, but it’s fine if you don’t want to,” Deceit was over-explaining, and Patton was feeling a bit of pity.

“Just come in, you can watch the movie here, if you want. No one’s here either.” 

Deceit smiled and came in; “Thanks Patton, I know you don’t really like me, so this means a lot.”

“Mhm, just sit on the couch and I’ll find us a movie! Do you like Disney? I love Disney!” Patton gasped, “Let’s watch all the Disney movies I own! We’ll make it a challenge! Whoever falls asleep first has to buy the other some coffee, and be the winner’s personal slave for the entirety of the day!” Patton clapped his hands and giggled. 

Deceit chuckled, “You’re on, but I’m gonna win!” 

Patton put on the first movie, Peter Pan, and went to get changed into some pajamas. As he was zipping up his onesie, he realized Deceit didn’t have any spare clothes. Patton quickly put up his hood, ran to Logan’s room and grabbed some pajamas, a shirt and some sweats, then went back to the front room and handed the clothing to the man on the couch. 

“What are these for?” Deceit asked, tilting his head to the side a bit. 

“Well, you’re spending the night, so I grabbed some of Logie’s clothes and now I’m giving them to you so you can sleep comfortably tonight! After all, jeans are really uncomfy to sleep in, I know from experience!” Patton smiled. Deceit looked away and smiled slightly, thanking Patton, before going to change. After Deceit got back, Patton played the movie and sat next to Deceit. They were on their fourth movie when Patton felt his eyelids start to get heavy. 

_ No! Nuh-uh, not losing to a Slytherin!!  _ Patton thought and shook his head. Unconsciously, he started to lean onto Deceit and he winded up cuddling into the other’s side and basically holding his eyes open with invisible hands. 

“P-Patton?” 

“Shush, I’m watching the movie, this is my favorite song…” The movie on was The Little Mermaid, and “Part Of Your World” was playing. Patton kept telling himself he wouldn’t fall asleep, but he started to drift off and when he did, he felt Deceit pull the blanket Patton brought out earlier over them and put an arm around the smaller one awkwardly and carefully to make sure that the smaller wouldn’t fall off and hurt himself as if he was scared the moment he wrapped his arm around him, that Patton would run away, but he didn’t. When Patton finally fell asleep, it was the scene where Ariel first got on land. He dreamt about how Roman was doing at his musical. The musical itself was Heathers as and he played Ram. The dream continued, and it ended with… The dark sides and the light sides being friends, and… and Patton was being extremely clingy with Deceit. According to dream Virgil, they were… they were dating. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! I'm back at it with another chapter, this one being some Moceit!! Ezra and I personally really like this ship, even though it's not what we originally planned, but I started shipping Intrulogical, and now here we are, haha, anyways, I hope you enjoyed chapter 11 (technically chapter 13 but shhhhhh!!)


	14. Deceit POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton lost the bet, and now he and Deceit go out on the town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I use Ethan for most of this chapter instead of Deceit since first of all, I kind of prefer using his name that I decided on, and this chapter is in his POV, so, like, yeah-

Ethan was watching as Patton slept. He was trying to think of what kind of coffee he wanted the next day and what he was going to make Patton do for him. Probably not much, just buy him a shirt he’d been wanting for a while, maybe get him something to eat. As Ethan’s mind kept going, he started blushing at one idea and shook his head.

_ Get your mind outta the gutter, Ethan! He won’t… You won’t make him… Oh my God, I’m horrible! I need to get better. Maybe I can get Virgil to like me again if I’m nicer to everyone, especially Patton- No, I don’t think so… Know what, I don’t need Virgil! I have all I need! Food, life, and everything else that keeps me alive, I-I don’t need love or anything like that! I’m an independent man! It’s fine! This is fine!  _ Ethan looked down at Patton, who was cuddling into his side. Ethan blushed again. He couldn’t help but find Patton to look… cute sleeping. Like all the hatred that was held in his heart towards him was just gone. Ethan grabbed the remote and turned the movie off then onto another show that he enjoyed but knew Patton probably wouldn’t like. It was called… Penny Dreadful or something, he couldn’t remember exactly. After about three episodes, he turned it off and laid his head on the back of the couch, drifting off until he was asleep. He was woken by Patton, asking if he had won. 

“Dee, Dee! Did I win, did I win?” 

“Huh? No, you fell asleep before me, I was up for a few hours after you then went to sleep myself.”  
“Awww… Dangit! I was really looking forward to winning!” Patton complained. 

“Well, let’s go get some coffee, it’s,” Ethan paused and checked his phone, “Ten thirty-nine! Let’s get ready.” Ethan stood up, went to the bathroom, and changed into the clothes he was wearing yesterday and went back to the living room. Patton had already changed into his normal outfit.

“Come on Dee, let’s go, you drive, I don’t know how, and I don’t have a license!”

“You’re twenty-five and you don’t have a license?” Ethan asked, holding back a laugh. 

Patton looked away, turning a light shade of pink, embarrassed, “Shush! I-I just am a really, really bad driver, okay?” Ethan chuckled and the smaller grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the car, causing Ethan to blush slightly. He shook his head again and got into the driver's seat in the car as Patton got in the passenger's seat. Ethan started the car and they drove in silence listening to the radio for a few minutes until a song that Patton liked came on, and Ethan chuckled as Patton’s eyes lit up and looked as if they were sparkling as if he just saw a sign that said, “Free Puppies” on it. The song started playing and Patton sang along, and Ethan was driving and listening to Patton in awe. After the song ended, Patton giggled. Ethan doesn’t know how it happened, but he winded up holding Patton’s hand as both were having a comfortable silence between them. When they got to the coffee store, they got out and went in, unconsciously still holding hands. There was a sign. “Couples eat free!”. Ethan thought about it and remembered how it was going to be Valentine’s Day soon. He and Patton looked at each other then nodded in agreement, while the smaller, blue-eyed one was smirking childishly and the taller, brown and green-eyed one was holding back yet another laugh. Ethan wrapped his right arm around Patton and pulled him closer as Patton just went with it, holding back a few giggles. The two went in and went up to the barista, who immediately smiled when she saw them. 

“Hello, what can I get you two today?” She asked brightly. 

“Hmm, I dunno,” Ethan looked at Patton, “What do you think we should get, babe?” 

Patton grew a confused look but then smiled and exclaimed, “You should get the latte with the kitty whipped cream!” 

Ethan chuckled, “Yeah, I’ll have that, two actually, here” he handed a debit card to the barista, who refused and pointed to the “Couples eat free” sign, which Ethan and Patton pretended to be surprised by, but thanked her. 

“May I have your names?” she asked.

“My name is Dee, and my boyfriend’s name is Patton. Thank you,” Ethan told her, then went to their seats. Patton started giggling and Ethan let out a chuckle as well.

“I can’t believe that worked!” Patton exclaimed, eyes bright.

“Yeah, me neither. I’m not that good in relationships, I mean, I suck at them.”

“I’ve never dated someone since I’ve never really felt an attraction to anyone like that. I mean, I had crushes, but I never really asked anyone out, and people never asked me out since all my friends were girls, well, except this one girl who I was friends with, but I had to tell her I was gay, and she sighed and said she was lesbian, but her parents weren’t approving, and that’s how I got my first fake date with someone!” Patton giggled and kept talking, and Ethan listened, laughing occasionally, as if in a trance. After their coffee “date”, Patton asked Ethan what he wanted to do as they walked out. 

“Hmm, well, how about we go to the mall? I haven’t been there in forever, and I could use some clothes,” Ethan admitted. Patton smiled and agreed to take him there. They walked to the mall, as it was only a few blocks away, talking the whole way. When they got there, they went in, went to one of the clothing stores, and started shopping. They shopped for about an hour until Ethan finally saw a shirt he liked. It was black and said, “10 points to Slytherin” on it. Ethan’s eyes lit up and he grabbed it.

“Hey Pat, what do you think?” He smiled and held it out to Patton, who gasped.

“I love it! Woah, Dee, look! There’s a Hufflepuff one next to it! Can I get it?” Patton asked. 

“Of course, I don’t mind, we can match!” Ethan exclaimed happily. The two winded up buying Ethan the shirt, a new yellow jacket, and some jeans, and they bought Patton the Hufflepuff shirt, a new blue jacket, and some black sweatpants. They walked around the mall a bit, even stopping at Hot Topic, getting Virgil some new My Chemical Romance shirts, Remy a shirt with the transgender flag on it in a heart, and Remus a new Nirvana shirt so they could surprise the boys when they get home. They were back at the car, just talking outside of it when suddenly Patton went silent and froze. He quickly opened the car door and pushed Ethan in. 

“Huh? Pat, what are you-” Ethan started.

“Hi, Logan!!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger! More Moceit! More fluff! And, Dee, I think Remus may be wearing off on you a bit!


	15. Patton POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> baby boys POV!!!!

Logan was still far enough so he couldn’t hear Deceit say “Well if you wanted me in the car you could have…” Patton slammed the door cutting him off.

“Patton, what was that?”

“NOTHING. Just, uh, um… The radio!”

“You can’t drive. How’d you even get out here?”

“A friend!” Patton wasn’t lying when he said a friend, but he was really nervous and starting to work up a cold sweat.

“Uh, okay where is your friend?” Logan asked looking around.

“Inside I...um I’m texting him right now to come outside!” Patton exclaimed, shaking. He texted Deceit, “What do I do, oh my gosh.” 

Deceit texted back, “What’s the worst thing that would happen if you told him I drove?”

“He could get really angry that I’m in love with a dark side!!!” Patton texted. Patton looked at what he just wrote and tried to delete it but, Ethan had already seen it, it was too late. Patton felt like he might throw up.

“Hey, Logan we can talk back at the hotel, okay?” Patton said, “I’m going to pick my friend up at the front of the mall.”

“Patton, are you sure? I thought you couldn’t drive.”

“You know, it’d be nice if you could at least trust me to drive less than a mile,” Patton snapped at his friend and got in the car, waiting for Logan to walk away. He was still having trouble breathing. Deceit and Patton switched seats and he sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a quick short chapter. Hope you enjoyed!


	16. announcement

Hey everyone. As you've noticed, I haven't posted on this story in a while, and that's because I'm discontinuing this. Now, before you get mad at me, please understand that I'm doing this for my own mental health. I'm dealing with a lot of stuff right now and I have three unfinished projects, this being one of them. I'm gonna work on this but not post because I'm honestly not proud of this. I'm still going to write fanfictions, but I'm going to focus on one at a time. If you enjoy my writing, check out my story "Who Is This Small Child?". It's a My Hero Academia fanfiction and that's my main focus currently. I also am starting therapy soon, and I am trying to stop my bad habits, and a lot of the stuff with Virgil is me projecting, and I can't really do that anymore. I also really hate the way the story is going, along with my friend completely forgetting about some story details. I'm sorry for anyone who was enjoying this story, I'm just so disappointed in this and I just can't continue anymore, I really hope you all understand how sorry I am, but it's just something I have to do right now before I overwork myself and get burnt out. You can read through this but there will be no more chapters on Archive of Our Own. Read my other work that is my main focus if you're into that fandom and give it some love as well, I'm actually proud of that story. This is all, thank you so much for all the reads, kudos, comments, and bookmarks. Goodbye, Blame It On Me.


End file.
